Intercepted Nascar Emails

Originally Posted on Foxsports on September 26, 2007.


Saturday, September 1, 2007 7:48:02 a.m.
Kyle - Just a quick note about the Toyota thing.  Please, Please, Please don't mention it again.  We want to do a big roll out, and we're concerned about how your current employer and the other Chevy guys will take it.  We'd like to win a Championship, and I'm sure you personally would too.  Let's not sink the ship before it's time.  Give me a call if you have any questions.   J.D.
PS - DO NOT MENTION THE M&M DEAL!!!
PPS - If this is the worst thing you ever do, it's no big deal.  I mean, we've dealt with Tony for how long?!?

Sunday, September 9, 2007 5:02:34 a.m.
Bro - I don't know what else we can do to help him out.  I mean we added two drivers to the Chase to make it easier for him to get in, and he still doesn't make it.  Ratings will plummet unless he wins a race this year.  Any ideas who the new sponsor will be?  Frankly I think Bud is out of their freaking mind to let him go.  But then again, they're also walking out of the Busch series deal.  Well, this latest debacle has driven me to drink too.  Any luck with the football team plan?  Sis
PS  - Rumor has it that Smith is trying to buy NHIS.  Sucker.  Like we'll let him move another race, especially to  Vegas.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 10:23:58 p.m.
Jade - I know I'm moving on from Budweiser, but do you think they'll keep stocking my cooler?  I won't have a beer or liquor sponsor.   I promise to show up once and a while with an old hat or T-shirt.  Thanks for checking for me.  Junior

Saturday, September 15, 2007 6:33:09 p.m.
Champ - Don't worry about failing to qualify at NHIS.  Sometimes it takes a while to get the hang of qualifying, and there are a lot of fast cars that don't make the show each week.  We'll see if it works to add a race later this season.  RP

Monday, September 17, 2007 1:37:55 a.m.
Clint - Congratulations on the win!!  Once I'm back, we'll celebrate in style - that first win is a big deal.  Earnhardt always wanted to go hunting, but we'll figure out what you'd like to do.  Do you think you'll have time to help Austin out again at the dirt track?   Don't let Harvick talk you into anything!  If all goes well, I should have some yak steak to celebrate with by the end of this week.  Enjoy the sponsor in your victory celebration.  Richard

Tuesday, September 18, 2007 8:30:04 p.m.
Kasey - Congrats on the Bud sponsorship.  It is awesome!  If you enjoy it half as much as I have, you will think you've died and gone to heaven.  I have to say, I'm delighted it didn't stay with my step-mother's company.  Karma, I guess.  Junior
PS - If you happen to have any "extra" Bud, I'd be glad to take it off your hands!

Saturday, September 22, 2007 6:23:22 p.m.
Champ - Don't worry about failing to qualify at NHIS  Dover.  Sometimes it takes a while to get the hang of qualifying, and there are a lot of fast cars that don't make the show each week.  We'll see if it works to add a race later this season.  RP

Sunday, September 23, 2007  11:08:43 p.m.
Hammy,   I told you that regardless what happens on the track, the garage stall is SACRED!  How could you let Kyle walk into your garage stall, flip your visor, and scold you like a toddler?!  Are you a man or a mouse?  I'd never take that from another competitor.  In fact, I've had scuffles with Jeff and Robby Gordon when they tried to walk INTO my garage stall to continue an argument.  You need to work on that - I mean the Petty Golden Boy will hardly even draw a PENALTY for it.  Quit worrying about the anger management courses - they're a breeze.  And it's not like Joe or JD will take you to task for it.  You're a proven winner.  Smoke.

Sunday September 23, 2007 11:10:00 p.m.
Kyle - Denny Hamlin?!?  I mean, can't you talk to someone who needs it like Juan Pablo Montoya?!?   Happy

Sunday, September 23, 2007 11:12:02 p.m.
Muscle Man - Heard about your height problem.  Don't let this get you down - Nascar may take some points, but you can do what I haven't done - win the Championship.  Nascar took a bunch of points from me once, and I lost the Championship.  I always figured it was a way to get back at Jack.  But I think they are over that now.  In any event, I'm calling you out again - keep winning and prove them wrong.  Your car looked great today.  MM

Sunday September 23, 2007 11:15 p.m.
Kyle - Flipping open his visor?  That was classic!  My teammate didn't have any idea what to do about it.  I don't think they'll even touch you with a penalty.  It looked like a father lecturing a son.  Maybe you should try it next weekend on Montoya!  Smoke.

Sunday, September 23, 2007 11:44:17 p.m.
Mr. Petty, Thank you for finally doing to Denny Hamlin what should have been done a long time ago - put him in his place.  He obviously didn't take it well, but he needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around him.  Thanks again, Kristin Buntain, his ex-girlfriend

Sunday September 23, 2007 11: 48:41
KP - Can we get together and discuss what happened with Hamlin?  I just don't understand what happened there - it would never happen like that in Formula One.  Should I be doing that in the garage when people cause me to crash?  Give me a call.  Thank you.  JPM

It's A Girl Thing: Why the Bashing of Teresa Earnhardt has Bigger Implications

Originally posted on Foxsports blogs on September 13, 2007.


This week's hot conspiracy theory is that Dale Earnhardt Jr's five DNFs for engine failure are the direct result of his evil step-mother, Teresa Earnhardt's actions.  Blinded Dale Jr. fans theorize that his stepmother deliberately sabotaged his engines to punish him for leaving the family business and defecting to Hendrick Motorsports.


Here's the quick list of why this is a ridiculous theory:  (1) She isn't an engineer and lacks the knowledge to damage an engine to make it fail with just 5 laps left.  (2) If she had help, think how many people would have to keep this quiet (plus, when was the last time we saw her at the track?)  (3)  Failing to make the Chase damages DEI's chances at getting sponsorship dollars (4) Wouldn't rubbing in a Championship as Junior jumps ship be sweeter? (5)  Merchandise sales.


The more insidious and unspoken insult is that a woman can't (and shouldn't) run a successful Nascar company. 


Teresa Earnhardt is the only woman running a multi-car team.  Realistically, she's the only woman running a Cup team (BAM barely counts).  Heck, throw in the IRL/Indy Car Series, and she's still the only one.  But anytime there is a problem at DEI, we get ludicrous conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory.  Heck, the only thing she hasn't been accused of this year is killing Elvis. 
Did we bash Jack Roush when he lost the reigning Champion to Penske?  Did fans skewer Chip Ganassi when he threw in the towel on Casey Mears?  Was Hendrick's dumping of a rookie of the year and a young man his dead son handpicked touted as a bad business move that didn't make sense?  No. No. And No.


So why take a owner to task when she lets a driver go who hasn't won a race this year,  barely won a race in each of the last two years and fails to qualify for the Chase half of the time?  Obviously, there is a family dynamic at work in this situation, but that should cut both ways.


Nascar's anti-woman feelings have run deep and long.  Look at the insults and lack of help given to Janet Guthrie.  Women weren't allowed in the pits and finally Stevie Waltrip broke through by being listed as an owner.  For a more recent candidate of the "women are evil" sentiment, look at Erin Crocker, who was singlehandedly the reason Jeremy Mayfield couldn't win and Ray Evernham couldn't run a company.


Instead of looking for dark shadows behind every engine failure, Everyone should be looking at why a female owner is being scrutinized and held to a standard male owners are not.  Why is it OK to write these horrible things about her when she isn't doing anything illegal,  but the same sources won't write, theorize or complain when one of those male owners is indicted and convicted of a federal crime?


Seems like a double standard to me.

My Martinsville Musings

Originally Posted on Foxsports.com on April 3, 2006.

Ah, Martinsville.  The paperclip.  Two drag strips connected with two hairpin turns.  Whatever you call it, don't leave without eating a hotdog!  {Seriously, the teams nearly boycotted last year when the condiments and wrapper were changed. }   The race for the most part was uneventful - at least compared to last week at Bristol.  There were still some interesting storylines...

A crash on lap 2 took several cars out of contention for the win.  The groaning you heard across the country was due to the red #8 being involved.  By the end of the race, Junior had "crashed" again, managed to stay on the lead lap, work his way through traffic, and finish 4th after getting by Kyle Busch.  I don't know that there was much to salvage on the car when it hit the hauler - three of the four corners of the car were missing, based in, or dented and  half the brake fan system was gone.  Most impressive was that the team did not give up - which is a marked difference in attitude from last year at this time.

The lap 2 crash ended Robby Gordon's day.  Robby, one of few owner/drivers, was in the top 15 in points prior to the race, but due to the DNF is 27th in points.

Despite the multiple on track incidents throughout the race, there did not appear to be any Bristol pay-backs.  Jimmie Johnson commented on this after the race - his point was that if the media would quite playing it up, there would be more.  According to Johnson, no one will do it when they know the media is looking to pounce on it, so if they lay off, the paybacks will come.  An interesting theory to be sure.

The one feud that has started is Denny Hamlin vs. Mark Martin.  I'm not clear on what happened, but Hamlin expressed his displeasure with Martin due to two run-ins on the track - one at Las Vegas and one at Martinsville.  Martin has not commented at this point to my knowledge, and Hamlin acknowledged that he still respects Martin but whats to know why he has been singled out.  Knowing Martin, this will be a non-issue by Texas.

The Dodge teams continue to have some trouble with the Charger - their highest finisher was Scott Riggs in 10th.  The highest finishing rookie was Reed Sorenson in a Dodge (12th)

What happened to all the discussion of Roush Racing domination?  The highest finisher was McMurray in 9th, followed by Martin (13th), Edwards (16th), Kenseth (24th) and Biffle (31st).

Jeff Gordon has stalking at Martinsville down to a science.  He's won there 7 times  - and the last few has appeared out of nowhere at the end.  He likes to spice it up - this time he got a flat tire early in the race, which caused a caution.  Conspiracy theorists point out that while Gordon got a caution with no debris apparent on the track, a couple other spins, tire-blow outs and debris went unflagged during the race. 

Does anyone else think that Jeff Gordon's two teammates cut him a break on the final two laps when he slipped on the speedy dry?  I think if any other two cars had been right behind him, he would have been shown the wall.

For a guy edging toward retirement, Mark Martin is sure charging up the points standings - he's currently in 2nd behind Jimmie Johnson.

Since it was Martinsville, I wondered how quickly Stewart would mention the Hendrick Motorsports plane crash in his victory speech.  It was practically the first few words out of his mouth.  In Oct 2004, his pilot, Scott Lathram was on the plane, coming to Martinsville to see Stewart before Lathram left for Iraq.  Apparently Stewart hasn't forgotten him - and still has information on his website to make a donation to Lathram's Memorial Fund.

I don't know which is more fun - watching Tony Stewart climb the fence after he wins or watching him spray Jimmy Spencer with a Coke during the victory lane broadcast.

My vote for one of the coolest trophys anywhere is the Grandfather Clock given at Martinsville, although I'm fond of the "brick" trophy at Indy and the glass palm trees at Darlington.

Confessions of a Racing Junkie Part I

Originally Posted at foxsports.com on December 14, 2005.

It started innocently enough.  After I finally finished my education, I was traveling across country with my Dad, and we stopped in Indianapolis (where else) to visit my aunt & uncle.  My uncle offered me the first seductive hit of racing by "forcing" us to watch a nascar race.  I don't recall seeing stock cars race before.  I suppose I knew it existed, but it had never registered on my radar.  Traditional stick & ball sports were my experience - both watching and playing.  However, my uncle's enthusiasm for this motor sport thing was catching.  And after that first hit, I remember thinking "I could learn to really like that."

Several months later I had my first memorable encounter with a nascar junkie.  He had all the trappings of a true nascar fan.  He owed numerous die cast cars, T-shirts, neon signs and other assorted junk.  I don't think he could decide which beer company to support, so he bought racing stuff from them all.  To top it off, he couldn't stop explaining the Daytona 500 qualification process to me and my co-worker.  We thought he was a scary  - so we set a new land speed record cleaning his house and bolted.

Shortly thereafter, I moved to a new town.  And, in the secret confines of my apartment, I began regularly taking hits of nascar races.  On Saturdays, I watched Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Matt Kenseth battle it out for the Busch series championship.  But on Sundays, I avoided the racing scene - everyone would be talking football, basketball or baseball  - and I didn't want them to know about this new habit I had picked up.